In Omnia Paratus

You're never too old to learn something stupid.


Ask me stuff!  
Reblogged from memewhore
toxicblogger:

his face just screams “you try and fucking stop me”

toxicblogger:

his face just screams “you try and fucking stop me”

(Source: memewhore, via tyleroakley)

Reblogged from liquidglue

liquidglue:

liquidglue:

liquidglue:

liquidglue:

'cause the players gonna play play play play play

alligators alligate gate gate gate gate

elevators elevate vate vate vate vate

shake it off

(via to-days-ofinspiration)

Reblogged from okaywork

(Source: okaywork, via mtulrb)

Reblogged from australianpikachu

terminallycheesy:

forfuturereferenceonly:

ohio-is4-lovers:

a christmas themed porn movie called “it’s beginning to look a lot like fistmas

Really tumblr? A fucking “joke” about a religious holiday celebrated by billions in the world? It’s really disrespectful. Also glorification of porn? Not only it displays submissive/dominant interactions in sexual exchange, it also underrepresents asexual individuals. 

Looks like someone didn’t get any fistmas presents this year.

(via mtulrb)

Reblogged from azalea-in-time

2ollux-captor-ii2-my-dance2tor:

useless-worthless-nobody:

azalea-in-time:

When you go to a haunted house, it may seem like you’re being funny by trying to scare the actors or jump out at them when you go through a second time, but guess what? ITS NOT FUNNY.

You pay us to scare you. It is your choice to go, so don’t fucking go through if you’re going to ignore the rules and get too close to the actors as a ‘joke’.

These bruises happened because over the course of 4 hours, several people ignored the instructions that CLEARLY stated that they were to wait in the front room until told otherwise. Rather than listen, they ran into the next room and slammed into me- effectively throwing me into the wall. This didn’t only happen once. It happened ten times at LEAST.

Then we had this asshole who thought that once I ‘died’ for the haunt, he could pretend to kick me to see if I’d moved. I, being used to people abusing me- jumped back and slammed my head into the concrete wall.

YOU ARE NOT FUNNY BY BEING RUDE AT A HAUNTED HOUSE. WE ARE PAID ACTORS THAT YOU CHOOSE TO COME AND SEE PERFORM. YOU PAY US TO SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU, SO DONT HIT US WHEN WE DO

I feel that this is relevant considering it is October and more Haunted Houses are opening up. I know it seems funny to scare the ‘monsters’ but all you do is hurt real people. So stop.

It’s not even October but I’m still spreading this

SIGNAL BOOOOOOOOSSSSSTTTTT!!!!!!! Now

(via mtulrb)

Reblogged from goblinnkingg
topiarynymph:

My uncle ties his dreads around my cousin to keep her from falling off his shoulders and I think it’s the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.

topiarynymph:

My uncle ties his dreads around my cousin to keep her from falling off his shoulders and I think it’s the greatest thing I’ve ever seen.

(Source: goblinnkingg, via mtulrb)

Reblogged from itsmemorized

rambozus:

itsmemorized:

Oh my GOD
My grandma bought my grandpa new pants and my mom asked him how they felt and he goes “like a cheaply made castle” and we were like what and he goes “no ballroom”
GRANDPA NO

Grandpa yes.

(via mtulrb)

Reblogged from nosdrinker

nosdrinker:

retrospectroverted:

nosdrinker:

why does one ply toilet paper exist

i honestly prefer single ply, it feels lighter and more effective and the rolls last longer because the sheets are thinner.

ok poophands

(via mtulrb)

Reblogged from beauxbatons

niicola:

beauxbatons:

oh my god i’m fucking sick of this generation’s mentality that your sadness is beautiful and somebody will fix you and all this fucking john green shit nobody will find you in a bookstore reading bukowski and want to lie with you and nobody will kiss your scars and you will not be like effie and freddie you’ve got to be your own fucking hero and surround yourself with positivity

boooommmmm

(via mtulrb)

Reblogged from imposetonanonymat
gotitforcheap:

fuck her right in the pursey 

gotitforcheap:

fuck her right in the pursey 

(Source: imposetonanonymat, via tyleroakley)